Polish Divorce

A Polish man moved to the United States and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.

The lawyer said getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances and asked him the following questions.

Have you any grounds? Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.

I mean what is the foundation of this case? It made of concrete.

I don't think you understand. Do either of you have a real grudge? No, we have carport and not need one.

I mean, what are your relations like? All my relations still in Poland.

Is there any infidelity in your marriage? We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

Does your wife beat you up? No, I am always up before her.

Is your wife a nagger. No, she is white.

Why do you want this divorce? She going to kill me.

What makes you think so? She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say: "Polish Remover".